Crash Course

My daughter may not be impressed, but I think I’m a pretty good driver. I’ve only had few tickets and fewer accidents since getting my license 35 years ago. But, now that I’m the mother of a fifteen year old, permit driver – who is scrutinizing my every move – I see that I’ve become a little loosey-goosey about some of the rules of the road:

• “Mom, did you ever actually stop at that stop sign?”

• “Mom, is it okay for me to eat a yogurt and drive at the same time?”

• “So, Mom, when does the speed limit matter?”

Sometimes I miss her being in a rear-facing car seat! There is nothing like being watched by someone who looks to you as a role model to realize the impact of your actions. And inactions. I now find myself driving with my hands positioned at 10:00 and 2:00, buckling and signaling and braking with my daughter’s future habits in mind.

It’s important to be a good driver but there are things I know she is watching me do that are even more significant … like, am I a good wife? When she watches me relate to my husband – in all the “for better, for worse” of it all – does she see me honoring God, respecting my husband, and having “a noble character” like that Proverbs 31 wife?

What are things I do and model as a watched wife that equate to rolling through a stop sign and driving with one finger on the steering wheel? Where have I become loosey-goosey in my marriage over time and with familiarity?

• Does my husband hold the priority in my heart and schedule that he once held?

• Do I expect too much from him, while hoping he doesn’t expect too much from me?

• Do I wear my yoga pants too much?

What if getting a marriage license required the study and practice that is involved in getting a driver’s license? Would I pass?

And so, for the umpteenth time, I’m grateful to be going through the Cry of the Hidden Heart study with two friends. Yes, I helped write it and have taught it for many years, so you’d think I’d have it memorized and mastered. Alas, no.

I’m always amazed by how quickly my old sinful, selfish nature creeps in and takes over my attitudes and actions. It’s time for a marital spring-cleaning as the living water of God’s word and principles refresh my heart and relationship.

After all, there are more than two people involved in our marriage. My daughters are learning how to be a wife from me. And even more importantly, they are seeing in my husband and me a human picture of the unity between Christ and His church. I pray they see the joy and comfort and security of being married. I also pray, that as they see our imperfections, they learn to seek Jesus as the true source of perfect, unconditional love.

“As the Scriptures say ‘A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:31-33

How about you? Are you living as a watched wife? Is it time for a refresher course?

Spring is a perfect time for a fresh start.