The Hidden Heart of Homemaking cont’d
In our series on “The Heart of Homemaking,” Debbie Krumsieg shared with us the lessons learned and choices she and her husband Andy made in parenting their four children (now all adults). Both graduates of Wheaton College, Debbie and Andy have invested their lives in urban ministry and currently serve Jubilee Christian Church in the city of St. Louis. In summing up the huge topic of parenting, Debbie touched on five categories they considered essentials for raising up “godly offspring.” (Malachi 2:15)
“Loving Your Children Well – Part II”
1) Training and practice as a preventative to much discipline: “Spend time instructing, so they understand what’s right and what you expect before you go into a situation … show and teach what our face/body looks like when our attitude is right. … then have them practice … when they don’t obey and they know better, give a consequence and then invite them to have a “do over” and practice doing whatever you told them to do the ‘right’ way … and end by praising them.” Debbie said they learned that when kids are acting out they’re really saying, “Please parent me!”
“What you celebrate is what you cultivate.”
2) Loving Our Children Well through Teaching and Modeling: Debbie recalled that her favorite part of homeschooling was reading together hundreds of great books. The Krumsieg’s family home and table were often shared with all kinds of different people, interacting together, serving and learning. In regard to stewarding their resources, their son Caleb recalled, “Giving a small allowance, but then actually following up with ‘forcing’ (encouraging) us to tithe 10 % and save 20% and manage the rest well basically taught us financial wisdom/stewardship from the beginning.” “The 20% category meant it had to be saved for an intentional purchase (Lego set or new bike or summer camp), not an impulsive buy at the store.”
3) Loving Our Children Well Through Relationship Building: By being observant and cognizant of the unique giftedness and personalities of their children, Debbie remarked that they needed to be willing to change what they were doing. When their son Ben was in 6th grade, he needed some friends (no boys in their home school group) and Debbie realized “she mostly needed to be his ‘cheerleader’ for a year, not only giving all the instructions … so he went to a Christian school, had a great time … and came back to our home for middle school with a healthier relationship between us.” His two best friends from that year are still his close friends to this day.
Rules Minus Relationship = Rebellion … Rules Plus Relationship = Respect
4) Loving Our Children Well by Encouraging Their Personal Relationship with God: “We want to be raising children like Samuel to hear God’s voice; like the boy with his lunch who shared it; like Daniel standing for his convictions; like Naaman’s wife’s little maid, who, far from home, wasn’t bitter but actually wanted her master’s healing …”
For the Krumsiegs it meant talking about God naturally throughout the day, “Come and see God’s creativity …”; time spent in God’s word together; talk time (usually bedtime) when “God sightings” were shared; established family traditions (like New Year’s) when family highlights from the past year were shared along with things they wanted to do in the next year, setting goals for three to five and five to ten years ahead, “goals for getting out of MY life and making room for OTHERS in my life … ”
5) Loving our Children Well Through Letting Go: Debbie’s advice: “Ask good thought provoking questions, instead of just offering advice. When Caleb asked about going on a trip with three friends, driving from Los Angeles through Central America to the southern tip of South America, we asked him questions, especially if he would commit to praying about it and holding it with an open hand. We didn’t know if it was a foolish idea or God’s good plan, but we believed His Spirit would let Caleb and us know. Along the parenting journey, give the gift of trust and responsibility as often as you can.” The Krumsieg’s trust in a faithful God and His work in their son’s life allowed for His purposes in this incredible, life-impacting journey.
In what ways are you inspiring the next generation to set goals that reach further than MY life to make room for the welfare of OTHERS?
Be sure to register for our upcoming series: “WHAT A MARRIAGE! … Truth or Lies” We’ll enjoy SUPPER, SCRIPTURE, and STORIES as we discuss “WHAT A WOMAN! … WHAT A PLAN! … WHAT A MESS! … WHAT A KNIGHT!” Join us May 30 through June 20 at 6:00 p.m., at the Home of Leslie Kehr, 806 Greenwich Green, Chesterfield, MO 63017. To register, send an email to: hiddenheartministry@gmail.com.
