What Does Your Daughter Need to Know Before She Leaves Home?
Sending our kids off for their first year of college can be dramatic for the whole family. For the parents, there’s the empty seat at the family table, the narrowing of parental oversight, and then the nagging question as to whether or not she or he will be an influencer or drift with the crowd. For the student who is trying to find her way, the exhilaration of new freedom and adventure is coupled with the testing of beliefs and assumptions about life. Below is one young woman’s story about her struggles to regain her footing as her freshman year brought challenges, not only to her faith, but also to her whole sense of identity.
To equip you in preparing her for a world that’s not always faith friendly, Hidden Heart Ministry is offering a series of Cry of the Hidden Heart classes that will help answer some basic questions about God’s goodness and purpose for having created us female; identify some of the feminist-generated myths that rob us of the joy of being woman; and present truth regarding the fullness of living with and for Christ, the perfect Bridegroom. (Even if a class is in your area has already begun, please do not hesitate to join.)
One Girl’s Story
Three years ago, around this time, I started my freshman year of college. I went in confident, believing that I could handle whatever life threw at me.
This was not the case. The next two years of my life would be two of the worst I have experienced in my 22 years on earth. I attended a secular college that did not value God or truth. My freshman year was miserable. I did not make any friends, I hated my classes, my workload overwhelmed me. I was obsessed with losing weight and making straight As. In order to make time to accomplish everything, I had stopped attending church regularly, stopped reading my Bible daily, and rarely prayed. By November of my sophomore year of college, my life was nearly destroyed. I had cut off all communications with my parents, I had stopped attending classes, and I had gained 40 lbs.
It sounds silly now, but back then what really bothered me wasn’t my classes or broken relationship with my family, but my weight. I began wearing size XXL shirts just to hide my shame. There was nothing I could do—every time I tried to lose weight, I ended up gaining 10 more pounds. When I looked in the mirror, I could barely recognize the person I had become. I began questioning who I was and what it meant to be a woman. I certainly didn’t feel like one
By God’s grace, I recognized that the answers to both questions would be found in Scripture. However, by then it had been months since I opened a Bible, and I didn’t know where to begin. It was like I had forgotten how to read Scripture; even looking at a Bible intimidated me. I continued to resist the Spirit’s calls to me. However, one day in November, when I slept through all my classes and woke up at 4pm feeling more depressed than ever, I finally lost all my strength. I realized I was in a giant pit with no way out, and I finally cried out to the Lord to send help and heal me.
Praise the Lord, that’s exactly what He did! While I wanted the Lord to fix my weight and my grades, instead He immediately fixed my relationship with my parents. That Christmas, the Lord sent me to Mrs. Kehr, who told me that what I needed wasn’t more psychiatrists (I had seen a few by that point), but Jesus! She began taking me through the marriage bible study. Starting with the basics, I began reading my Bible again and remembering the Gospel story. I learned that being a woman has nothing to do with my weight, but everything to do with my relationship with Christ. Slowly but surely, God taught me to let go of control of my life and give everything up to Him. And when I did that, when I put God first, everything fell into place.
It has been about a year and a half since I did the Cry of the Hidden Heart bible study, and much has happened in that time. I dropped out of my old college and worked for a year. I went on a mission’s trip for the first time. I transferred to a different school that values truth and God. And I have lost 23 of the 50 pounds I gained!
But none of that matters in comparison with the work God has done in my heart. I now rely on Him for everything, and the Holy Spirit keeps Jesus first in my heart. Of course, I don’t do this perfectly, and every day God reveals more of my weaknesses and self-reliance to me. But I strive to give my entire life up to Christ—to live my life totally and completely for God. I have never been more content. Indeed, it was true when our Savior said that “whoever loses their life will gain it.” Thank you, Hidden Heart Ministry, for reminding me of who my Savior was and where my hope lies. God used you to save me. Praise the Lord, who saves us from the pit!
What do you want your daughter to know before she leaves home?
