Saying “I Do,” OUR Way

Some of you may remember handing over the keys to the family car to a new driver in the family, wondering if the car would be returned in its original condition; if he/she would make good decisions or get distracted; or, worse, do some irreparable damage to himself or to someone or something else. Our oldest son’s high school essay was quite revealing when he wrote about his first solo drive and the exhilaration of being behind the wheel of the family car with a fairly large engine at his disposal. Had we known …

It seems to me that our Creator was pretty courageous in turning loose the first husband and wife in the Garden of Eden to manage the new earth with the freedom to obey or disobey Him. As we now know, doing marriage their way did not turn out well for them—or for any of us. But, of course, God was not caught off guard and had a plan to redeem and restore their/our messes. For that we can all be thankful as there are new trends in the wedding scene that are a far departure from what God had in mind for marriage.

Fleming Smith recently wrote an article in The Wall Street Journal about “Kissing Traditions Goodbye,”* in which he noted that 44% of the couples marrying in 2018 chose to write their own vows; four of the five of the marrying couples were millennials whom experts say are leading the charge to personalization. Granted, we have to marvel at the creativity of some who are choosing destination weddings at the most idyllic spots or sealing their vows on a ferry ride, or as reported in Mr. Smith’s article, having attendants walk down the aisle to the music of Led Zeppelin.

A whole new industry is being birthed to assist the growing number of couples who want a personalized, non-religious marriage ceremony: businesses who give assistance to couples in writing customized vows and also coach them on delivery. One such business owner advises the couples to not make promises they can’t keep. Other consultants’ suggestions include:

Don’t make fun of your partner.
Don’t use inside jokes or anecdotes the audience won’t know.
Don’t gloss over the difficult times.
Do practice and memorize your vows.

Charting our own course is a mark of our fallen nature; we were all born with the instinct to do it MY way only to discover sooner or later that we don’t have the resources within our self to keep promises. Hopefully, prayerfully, those couples who launch their married life “their way” will soon realize they need Divine help for those inevitable bumps in the road. The Creator, Designer of marriage, is the One who holds the pillars firm (Ps. 75:3); it is He who joins husband and wife and puts a portion of His Spirit in their union (Malachi 2:15); and Who adds His ‘Yes’ to theirs to the glory of God. (II Corinthians 1:19,20)