After the Launch … There’s a Marriage

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven … Ecclesiastes 4:1

My granddaughter’s high school graduation ceremony was by most standards unusual—an August event held in the football stadium, each graduate allowed five guests, all of whom would be wearing a mask and each family assigned a section for seating. But still there were the usual speeches by the two salutatorians, the valedictorian, and the inspiring and humble message of a beloved faculty member thanking the graduates for what he had learned from them. As each graduate’s name was called and he/she walked across the stage to receive the diploma, I had such a sense that each was passing over from a life of oversight and protection to explore a new world where more freedoms, more options, and more uncertainties lay before them and for the home they would be leaving. With some hesitation, one mother remarked, “Now we will have an empty nest.”

It seems to me that launching a child into that next chapter is a bit like the strategy of planning a wedding. I noted in the program, most of the graduates would be going on to college. That meant in some cases an exhaustive investigation into the best, most suitable option, campus visits, hoping for a compatible roommate with similar tastes and interest – all of which entails a certain amount of drama, not to mention financial strain.

Admittedly, during the era of COVID-19 we can’t minimize the complications. Will they be having in-class instruction or all virtual, etc.? What safeguards are in place to keep our kids safe? Nor can we ignore the liberties many colleges and universities take in indoctrinating our kids in unbiblical teaching. Will my child find some Christians? Some like-minded students who have the courage to say, “I’m a follower of Jesus.” Fortunately, this launching into the great unknown serves to remind us that we are known by our God ,and He is absolutely faithful to hear our petitions on behalf of our children and grandchildren. While they may be out of our sight, they’re not out of His.

Meanwhile, the wonderful discovery my husband and I made after all the drama of seeing our sons off to college was that we had a marriage. Quiet dinners with conversations that were not dominated by the talk of school, soccer goals, wrestling feats, grades. While we talked with our sons often and prayed for them, we got to know and appreciate one another again and remember why we married in the first place. When he came home the Christmas of his freshman year, our youngest son remarked as I opened a present from his father (a very lovely negligee) that “things have gotten sort of kinky since I left home.”

To me, those were the best years of our married life. Though not done perfectly by any means, based on our own levels of spiritual maturity, we had done our best to get our children ready to leave home; and it was comforting to know that we had planted and nourished some seeds in their heart and minds, but only God can give the growth. (I Corinthians 3:7)

To my friend who said regretfully, “Jim, after our kids are gone, it will just be you and me!” I would say:

The best is yet to come!